My biggest problem this week is trying to coordinate the after school schedules of three busy kids. That’s right, just normal everyday drama. Pretty awesome!
I was so overcome with gratitude Thursday to take my happy kids to school on the first day and walk them in. The next day I sat in the all school mass and realized that without Him, I wouldn’t be here. It’s almost September, and I feel great. Maybe this is my second chance – maybe I’m living it right now. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring but I’m at this great place where I trust Him and I know that no matter what happens to me, everything is going to be alright. Seriously folks, how crazy is it that I am still here at all, much less walked in the park, sorted laundry, or made dinner? Don’t get the mistaken impression I’m perfect. I still yell at my kids and if you breast-feed in the sanctuary during mass, I will judge you, probably forever. I was raised Methodist and we weren’t even allowed to return to the sanctuary if you had to leave to go to the bathroom. Both of these are true stories.
I’ve had many compliments on my wig and some outright flirting, and for that I thank you. Also my eyebrows are growing back so I’m hoping for the Larry Hagman/new Dallas look.
Medco, our pharmacy benefit plan, called the other day to ask if I wanted to keep getting my Zelboraf at the Vandy pharmacy (new copay $3200/month) or mail order ($80). We started laughing about it together. It was so nice for them to leave it up to me so I could decide. I’ll just leave you with that cliffhanger.
Last night I was trying to get to sleep as our vicious watchdog Pepper (more like Scooby-Doo) was clicking around the house securing the premises and I was thinking again about the many wonderful, smart, and kind people we’ve met on our journey and also about my amazing my team of doctors.
I know I’ve mentioned that my docs are very good at doling out information to me as I can handle it. So as I approach my second set of scans next week on Zelboraf, and things are looking good, they’ve let a few gems slip out. I’ve noticed they are more concerned about taking care of all of me so that’s a good sign.
On why I haven’t had a full body PET scan since April “Well if we didn’t get your heart straightened out, the rest didn’t matter.”
On suddenly checking into a rapid heartbeat I’ve had for months (probably from the Zelboraf) “Now that it seems the tumor isn’t going to invade and take over your heart muscle…”
And on the type of specialized procedure they’d been discussing I might need in Texas to remove the tumor “very, very difficult” and “scary”. Yikes.
June scans showed the tumor was so small as to be inoperable – the good kind of inoperable. And, amazingly, there is a chance the tumor could be GONE when they scan me next week and I could be left with no heart damage after this because of the way it was attached. I am still floating a foot off the ground thinking about the possibility. I believe He can bless us all, if only we trust Him.
I am also a firm believer that no matter what kind of cancer you have, never take stock in the so-called statistics (unless it makes you feel better). I am a person, not a number. Last weekend one of my dearest friends called to tell me her father has Mel and we are waiting on more info and hoping that it isn’t too serious. I hate this disease. Today would’ve been my parents’ wedding anniversary.
Thank you Lord for the ability to recognize each day as the gift it is. And also for these luscious new eyebrows. Please say a prayer for me and my scans next week and look for my update after Labor Day. In the mean time, Miles for Melanoma needs you! Links on the blog site below the MRF logo.
Peace to you all – Amy