I spent most of the last week exhausted and in bed, aches, pains, rashy, some nausea, fever and chills and sleeping a lot. I believe it was the cold virus the kids gave me though, that pushed me over the edge, or the kids themselves. I love my germy little darlings. A couple of people I know called to check on me because I’d been laying low all week but I don’t even remember talking to them. I’m definitely not firing on all cylinders but at least the roads are safe and my head doesn’t hurt. Headaches freak me out. My head is itchy though. I hope my new hair isn’t getting ready to fall out.
Today I am feeling better. We scaled back our Christmas decorating and left some pieces right in the boxes. It’s festive and I hope if Jesus drops by He’ll think we did just the right amount and left lots of time for the things that really matter. Like love, healing, snuggling by the fire, Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and admiring my new eyebrows. I know He’d love our inflatable nativity and my eyebrows are LOVELY! You can see them across a crowded room!
Once upon a time there was a poor, simple girl who trusted the Lord with her whole heart to say “Yes” to His call. “Yes” to a miracle. “Yes” to having, loving, and sacrificing a child. She gave her life away, her dreams and her plans and trusted His promise. Mary was about the same age as my daughter. I wonder what she would say if He asked. I know what I would’ve said at her age. No Way. What is he asking you for right now? Can you hear Him? What is your answer? I pray over this every day.
- Tomorrow is my last (YAY!!) infusion of ipi (AKA Yervoy).
- Wednesday I resume taking Zelboraf – I halted it last week due to severe chills and fever of almost 104. Fortunately it’s a pill, so I can just stop taking it. My doc said I looked better than he thought I would – he thought my skin would fall off due to the 2 drug combo. WHY do they say these things to me especially when I still have one treatment left? SHEESH!!
- Thursday I have a repeat cardiac MRI to check on the tumor inside my heart. Hopefully it is shrinking. It has to.
- Bloodwork and Cardiac MRI results 12/10 or 11 – TBD
I expect another rough week ahead however I am so thankful that nothing is expected of me around here. I don’t have to ferry the kids or worry about meals. I sleep when I need to and don’t even check the clock. It’s a whole different world. Christmas shopping is slowly coming along. I’m not concerned a bit.
I have been alone a lot, but not lonely. He is here. He built each of us with love and we are equal in His eyes. Imagine a world where we could all see it in each other. I wish I could. He knows and loves us and waits for us to come to Him. I am full of such peace these days. Every day I see something happen and I am comforted to know it is for a reason.
I am ready Lord, “Yes”, I am ready for a miracle so show me how to get there. For me the true miracle is this – that one way or another He will remove this cancer from me. We can all luminesce one day, born anew, a testament to His eternal love, humbled by His Glory, free of pain, cancer and sin. Doesn’t that sound heavenly?
Peace to you all,