New Years Eve was great – we rang in 2013 Ricky Bobby Style with some friends we hadn’t seen lately. Nothing pumped up my spirits more than my kids acting disappointed that I was coming. I guess Alan had told them all “Don’t expect to stay until midnight if mom comes”.
Stay up we did, I’d post a picture but I think my luscious eyebrows are falling out again. Bummer. Three quarters of what I have on my head is about an inch long and fuzzy like a puppy’s fur. Not sure at all what to do with it or if it’s staying. Sorta care, sorta don’t. Also back to filing my scaly painful feet, gooping up my eyes all the time and my face feels like sandpaper. But most importantly, still undead.
I’m definitely on the mend, I’m feeling quite feisty in fact. Thank you steroids. Night-prowling, anxiety-riddled, irrational Momzilla is back and I’m trying to keep from saying anything I’ll regret. Steroids work great for me but we have a real love/hate relationship. I love that I’m pain-free and have energy. I hate that I can’t sleep, my heart feels like its pounding right out of my chest and I get so emotional.
I’m now fining any kid $1 per day if they don’t make their bed. I’m spending the afternoon building a pillory in the front yard for the next soul who leaves the garage lights on. I tried positive reinforcement training first. Every time Alan would shut the light off I’d thank him nicely and offer him a piece of chocolate or I’d go get him a beer. But he figured me out after a few days. “Hey, wait a minute, are you trying to train me like the dog?” I tried to be nice.
Don’t get me started on the teenager found hoarding TEN rolls of toilet paper in his bathroom while the rest of us were discussing each stealing a roll, hidden up our shirts, at our good friend KD’s NYE party. Completely inexcusable.
I’m beginning this year full of hope, trying not to worry what’s coming or what’s going on inside me. I feel good today – why waste it? I try to follow the news related to melanoma research but I’m just tired. I can’t understand most of it anyway. I did read lately about a possible link between vitiligo and lower risks of melanoma. So maybe there’s some good news for our daughter and her detested white spots. Maybe they will save her life. As always, I wish they knew more.
I’m getting scanned head to toe starting tomorrow and into next week, which is daunting. I feel good about it. And nervous. And terrified, all at once. I will let you know on Jan 15th what all this Ipi+SRS+Zelboraf has resulted in. It wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be.
God has done nothing but surprise and bless me so far. Although its been difficult, I ask for His Grace to accept whatever comes next, to do as He wishes, and to continue to raise these children as long as I can. So please say a prayer or send some good karma or worship your favorite tree in my name – whatever works for you. Besides, I have a pillory to build, and that could take a long, long time.
Wishing you all a peaceful, healthy 2013,