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I felt so good I was singing The Gambler by Kenny Rodgers last night. It’s not time to fold ’em people, not today. Watch out or I’ll break into the kids (least) favorite – Dixie Chicken.

I have seen how a simple mistake, taking a really choppy boat ride, can endanger my life in an instant. I am as stubborn as an ox, but cancer has put this tumor in my heart and it moves around. I need to be more careful and less cavalier with my life. I believed I was at the end. My heart was exploding in pain. I could only get little wisps of breath. (I hope my oncologist isn’t reading this, he will tear out a few hairs).

I was speechless and full of relief to see the end recede as quickly as it came on. It wasn’t my time. No more boats. Nor trampolines, roller coasters, sky or scuba diving, horseback riding, or bungee jumping. Maybe I should wrap myself in bubble wrap. I am trying to take it easy but I yam what I yam!

I enjoyed again and again laughter with friends and it can be the best medicine in the world.

I have seen joy come from suffering.

We spent a few drizzly days at Dad’s cabin with the family and for the first time in months I awoke thinking “I love it here – my happy place”. Instead of “I’m alive”.

I was privileged to meet and share a meal with an amazing fellow melanoma warrior. I was feeling up to meeting new friends at Chili’s. It was like the Home Depot moment but with fewer power tools.

I sit here receiving the gift of someone else blood yet again, a cycle I’d rather not be in, but which makes a huge difference in the quality (and maybe length) of my life.

I confirmed how my tumor has definitely slowed way, way down from the rate it was growing when I first began this trial. Awesome. Now start shrinking!!!

I am shocked to realize I have been off my last therapy (Zelboraf) 13 weeks, on the trial (MK-3475) nine weeks. The impossible is possible.

I am blissful to be looking at my calendar to see trial scans in about two weeks, amazed to have made it this far. I’m looking forward to seeing what life has in store for me next.

I was originally very frustrated with several doctors over serious confusion in some test results. Now I understand. I Have Seen His Hand reach straight down. He has changed my path. Things happen for a reason.

I am still living for today, for none of us knows what tomorrow will hold.

I am overflowing with peace and hope for me, for you, and for us all.

Infusion number FOUR down, Off with your head Roscoe!!

Peace – Amy

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